Are there people with biological pre-dispositions towards INFP, or do we crop up as the result of much suffering?
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New York City
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Unsu...
Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sat, February 2, 2008 - 9:17 PMI think I'm biological... unless I don't remember something. My mother has always been open to whatever an INFP is and they generally let me be. There could have been suffering but I don't remember it. -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sat, February 2, 2008 - 9:39 PMMy Parents weren't the greatest or perfect, but it was not too bad either...I was left alone to be what ever I would be...
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sat, February 2, 2008 - 11:23 PMCarl Jung wrote:
". . . man brings with him at birth the ground-plan of his nature. . . ." ("Collected Works," 4: 728)
Most type practitioners agree that type is innate. We don't choose our type pattern; our type pattern chooses us.
But not every INFP is suffering.
You might enjoy encountering some glowing examples of INFPs.
Isabel Briggs-Myers of MBTI fame, of course
Type expert/author Roger Pearman, who works with the Center for Creative Leadership. His bio is at
www.rogerpearman.com/
Steve Myers, another type expert and designer of the MTRi assessment: (British)
www.steve-myers.com/
There's also Steve Mitten, who was president of the ICF in 2005.
www.stevemitten.com/
INFPs don't own the corner on suffering.
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"Pain Is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional."
-Zen saying -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Mon, February 4, 2008 - 8:22 AMi had a fine childhood, my relationship with my parents and siblings is great. Growing up in regards to school and other kids was a mixed bag like it is for just about anybody. I think personality is strongly weighted by genetic predisposition. -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Mon, February 4, 2008 - 11:14 AMMy childhood was not very good but I realized that my sister took things in differently and she grew up fine while I struggled ...she is not an infp but an estj .All it did for me is bring out the more negative characteristics of an INffp as oppose to the more healthy ones now. -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Wed, February 13, 2008 - 3:19 AMJessy!
Is it okay if I ask how you go getting along with your ESTJ sister?
Feel free to tell me to buggar off if prying too much, but my partner is ESTJ and lordy lordy, man it takes some work, some talkin' ...some explaining....I love him very much but we disagree on probably 70% of life, he likes to organise and timetable and manage....I .....I ...I am an INFP...........leave me alone, I'm dreaming, I'm in my own world man.............how on earth did you ever get on with an ESTJ for a sister!!!
I'm open for any further tips and hints...:) -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Wed, February 13, 2008 - 5:14 AMWell... when we were younger , we didnt get along at all and still today It takes so much effort , mostly on my part because Im the "deep and sensitive one" , so I have to limit my interactions and ignore certain things in order to keep the peace. She doesnt seem to ever think anything is wrong with her form of communication. We hardly ever agree. Yes, she has always thought something was wrong with me and wondered why I operate the way I do. She really dislikes my wanting to be alone 70 % of the time. We get along bette r after our daughters were born 7 years ago but its mostly conversations about them and nothing more personal. The bond never really formed in my opinion. The only thing I can say is that I feel I have more pressure to do the right thing becasue she cant see anything else but her own way. I dont know if I would be able to handle that in a romantic relationship, I would feel isolated and frustrated.
thanks for asking. : ) -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Wed, February 13, 2008 - 5:25 AMHer and her husband get along pretty good I might add.. although he is an I .. I dont believe he is an F but rather an ISTP or something like that. Neither one are F and it shows. I can get along with him better. -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Wed, February 13, 2008 - 11:32 AMI have read that it is virtually impossible for these types to have any idea how we interact and process; lacking empathy I guess? -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 11:46 AMAin't that the truth Jess, (the work coming from our side) I sat my ESTJ partner down (repeatedly) and explained and explained to him about the feeling of living with the Camp Major-General-Manager-Time-Police.
Also it is an ongoing effort about explaining empathy, compassion, enjoying time on my own....but to his wonderful, wonderful credit he takes this on board, he knows and gets a better understanding by us communicating effectively-as opposed to the first part/start of our relationship, which was flint and fire...:)
I have worked my butt off thinking of ways to explain and he has worked his off trying to understand...
I don't know that I could do all this with anyone other than a life partner...ie a sister/brother, that's kinda another level. I couldn't keep coming back and investing the energy and repeated level of communication....especially if I didn't have to live with them, day to day stuff.
Ya know this INFP site tribe thing is a little like coming home, you barely have to explain stuff, people just "get your drift" kinda-so amazing.
Pam
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 11:55 AMVirtually impossible-yes, it is the if not, then one of the most challenging things ever in my personal life; relating to and existing with an ESTJ partner.
...and yet you know the physical/intimate side of the relationship has been heaven sent, the glue, even sometimes, when everything else was coming undone...
That may sound a little shallow, but it's true, he is very good at physical expression, a hugger, really sweet and thoughtful in doing things for me, so even with his ESTJ ways it is a far more complex thing....we can still have some degree of self awareness? and be many layered.
Pam -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 2:33 PMfyi: Dr. John Beebe calls couples with completely mis-matched type codes "inverse types."
It means they have the same pattern of preferences, albeit in *inversed* order.
INFP:
Fi Ne Si Te
ESTJ:
Te Si Ne Fi
According to Beebe, this is an ideal pairing, because each person will "cradle" the other person's inferior process "gently."
So INFPs are *gentle* with ESTJs about their inferior Fi; ESTJs are "gentle" with INFPs about their inferior Te.
IF the partners are correctly typed AND healthy representatives of their type pattern, this can be an ideal relationship.
I wrote an article on Type and Relationships that was published in the last APTi Bulletin. You might like to read it. It may be found here:
www.TypeInsights.com/Relationships.html
Enjoy! -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 4:11 PMOh my goodness, I just read that.
Moan space! LOL drop and run.....we found that; I mean I found that, drop it and sprint. It works, it really works..it's kinda like you need to plan ahead, really give him time, ole ESTJ time..I have found, on average he is a week-come around man. Which I find really funny, my ESTJ has set routines and organisation and behaviour. He is the king of structure.
The only thing, the one and only thing where he doesn't moan-well he does but it is entirely different meaning, is intimacy, this was how I got to an idea of explaining things to him.
It went like:
"Hey you know how with intimacy you love to explore, let loose, try anything, you let your mind go wild-no inhibitions?"
ESTJ: "Yearrh"
INFP: "Well, that's how life is for me, exploring, learning, open minded, no judging stuff, people, anything is possible, lots and lots and love, good feeling, no boundaries, time constraints... Are you able to apply the intimacy context to a broader part of your life, especially where I am concerned, live and let live, no control, SPACE lots and lots of SPACE and room to be who I am?"
That isn't the exact conversation, word for word, but the gist, and needs to be gently repeated time and time again, especially when his mind goes into the 2 x 2 routine of this is how I did it yesterday, this is correct let no man or INFP come between my routine, my black and white world.
He gets that!!! And it is so much fun and very special to me when he just cuts loose with ideas and brainstorming stuff-he is really good at it, you can actually physically see him prepare to do it, and concentrate at it and then this gem comes forth.
I don't know how to apply any of this to other people that have the manager mindset, lol, kinda can't do the "hey you know how you like to play...." well.......just not gunna cut it is it? :)
He and I are working so well together now, after pointing out the parts of us that each are so abrasive on, we enter at each other (especially he) with kid gloves-care to considers..
Vicki, I read all the article, I like how it explains relationships are with the people and not type, it's so complex, multi layered, life, people...and learning how each is indexed is so good, so helpful, your work is really really interesting.
Thanks
Pam -
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 9:02 PMHey Pam ..I love to read your descriptions on how you and your partner interact ..its very sweet
and you sound so dedicated to making it work ..I like that.
Im happy for you
and yes this is a place were we are easily understood.... Its great in my opinion.
jess
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 4:19 PMAren't families funny the way they name off their kids:
mine is @ different times: "the sentimental one", "dreamy" "impractical" "far too sensitive" or a special favorite is "she's gotta be adopted right?"-which comes with various looks amounting to: WTF?
They have gone a little quiet on this the last few years as I have built up quite a successful business...
Business and INFP's!!! another thread-think Mother Theresa trying to scheme up tax minimisation plans.
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Re: Are INFP's always the result of distressing childhoods?
Mon, February 11, 2008 - 2:55 PMseems biological- I had a great childhood with very supportive parents (although yea like most people, with the growing pains of kids at school, etc, but was always a jock and popular enough, nothing traumatic). So if there's any correlation between suffering and INFP I don't think I'm a good example of it!
