I completely understand this dynamic. At times when a speaker is intellectual and heady, but lacking the intuitive, feeling perceiving, messages aren't understood because they cannot resonate on a sensory level. I encounter this more often with men, then women. It is easier to observe this in other peoples conversations, however, then to deal with it when engaged in conversations which are dumbfounding. I see it in the way others communicate, because I can take an objective stance, however, when I'm in it, it is easy to get frustrated.

So glad you mentioned this! I guess it *is* an INFP gift.

How does one gracefully offer his/her "services" as interpreter, though? We are all pretty good at this, but how to practice it without offending others? I think it is worth thinking about...

I know exacty what you're all talking about! I think with so much inner contemplation/strife we're all totally inclined to learn things from opposition.

I usually interject when the one of the misunderstanding parties resort the to "chin touch-brow pointed downwards" wherein the party would like to portray they are contemplating on a deeper level where the opposition is coming from though they're truly just humoring said oppostion and don't know where to start. At which point both parties know they don't understand one another.
I say things in a manner where It's like I'm trying to add on to what one of them said but in a way that's understandable to the other.
"Well, what I think X means is..."
"Maybe it's just that..."

With this gift, though, it's ALWAYS bothered me to watch some movies, sitcoms etc. where exists misunderstanding I find myself saying to myself "if X would have only said -this- they could have resolved the conflict."

I just "translated" this morning.

I think it helps when you have friends that know it's what you do, you know? So even when they are not realizing there is a communication gap, they know to listen. It also helps when you have friends that will tell you that you're not quite right (this time), but that they appreciate the input all the more. :-)

~autumns (new member!)

I'm going to butt in here and add my two cents' worth.

I've read every posting on this topic, and it seems like there is this idea that INFPs step into conversations at times, "translate," and fade back out. It's as if they do a little chore in the conversation, and it's this minor service they perform un-acknowledged.

What I am choosing to take issue with (and this sounds a bit strong perhaps) is the minimizing of this skill. Perhaps I'm mis-reading the intent of some messages (very possible!), but the perspective seems to be that it's this almost insignificant contribution INFPs make.

My stance is that it's not minor, it's MAJOR.

This "translating" (as it has been labeled) seems to me a manifestation of "Diplomatic Intelligence" as characterized by Dr. David Keirsey, and described in his books on Temperament, and further expanded on by his students, type experts, and type authors.

On my INFJ.com website, I provide a long description of this particular brilliance that INFPs have -- that they share with everyone who has the Catalyst temperament. I invite you to read it and take it onboard and appreciate this gift of yours, this shining talent.

It's a sad commentary that our culture does not appear to prize this form of intelligence, and perhaps that is why it is being diminished in the self-representations. And I confess: it brings out the coach in me. I want to throw down the gauntlet and dare you to honor this aspect of yourself, and value/prize it highly. Own your power and let no one diminish or discount it. This is a vital and necessary talent that supports relationships and helps them flourish. Without this service, no doubt there would be more wars.

Love, admire, and appreciate this gift. If not you.... then who?

www.INFJ.com/INFJ_Diplom...lligence.htm

oh dear God, THANK YOU! i'm not the only one! lol...

it's so frustrating (er and also kind of funny...) to hear two people arguing... only to realize that they are saying the same thing! or to have one person explain something to another... and have that person still not get it.

i really, really want to interject at those times! sometimes i do... but other times, like you said, they're too impatient to listen to what i have to say.

and then... i just kind of walk away and want to have a session of *bang-head-against-wall*