Hi everyone, I just took the personality test a few days ago and my result was INFP. Since that revelation I've been doing a lot of research into the subject and found this tribe, along with a lot of information that bares more than a striking similarity to myself. :S
I must say after flicking through a lot of the posts here I am nothing short of astounded with a lot of peoples replies and thinking "wow that's what I would say". :P
Anyway, a question to break the ice.
Do you guys lie a lot?
I don't mean compulsively, but, you know, to avoid any sort of debate/bad blood with others. I dislike dishonesty personally but I find I will sprinkle my day with little white lies to cater to the fact that everyone is happy and the world keeps turning.
An example would be, say, if someone at work asks if you have finished something you should have, I will always say "yes it's finished, i'll have it on your desk tomorrow morning".. then spend the next entire night at work trying to finish it, opening myself up to a buffet of problems if I don't get it done. A better example actually since I'm late to every single appointment I've ever made in my life would be the poor friend who has arrived on time and calls to ask where you are or have I left yet, I will answer something along the lines of yes i'm almost there or, i'm stuck in traffic etc. Unfortunately this is gained me a very flakey reputation haha, but it's the principle that I don't do it out of sheer disregard for whoever i'm meeting, I just have absolutely no concept of time.
In summary, I have become somewhat of a habitual fibber if answering "no" will generate any kind of criticism or anger/upset. I really hate to quarrel, no matter how small the matter.
I really dislike dishonesty and it really upsets me that I have resorted to being this way to keep everyone happy... I can never say no to anyone, which as you can imagine has brought me many a ben stiller-esque situation.
Anyway, hello. (:
I must say after flicking through a lot of the posts here I am nothing short of astounded with a lot of peoples replies and thinking "wow that's what I would say". :P
Anyway, a question to break the ice.
Do you guys lie a lot?
I don't mean compulsively, but, you know, to avoid any sort of debate/bad blood with others. I dislike dishonesty personally but I find I will sprinkle my day with little white lies to cater to the fact that everyone is happy and the world keeps turning.
An example would be, say, if someone at work asks if you have finished something you should have, I will always say "yes it's finished, i'll have it on your desk tomorrow morning".. then spend the next entire night at work trying to finish it, opening myself up to a buffet of problems if I don't get it done. A better example actually since I'm late to every single appointment I've ever made in my life would be the poor friend who has arrived on time and calls to ask where you are or have I left yet, I will answer something along the lines of yes i'm almost there or, i'm stuck in traffic etc. Unfortunately this is gained me a very flakey reputation haha, but it's the principle that I don't do it out of sheer disregard for whoever i'm meeting, I just have absolutely no concept of time.
In summary, I have become somewhat of a habitual fibber if answering "no" will generate any kind of criticism or anger/upset. I really hate to quarrel, no matter how small the matter.
I really dislike dishonesty and it really upsets me that I have resorted to being this way to keep everyone happy... I can never say no to anyone, which as you can imagine has brought me many a ben stiller-esque situation.
Anyway, hello. (:
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Re: conflict evasion
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 2:17 PM....and this is obviously upsetting you and something your not comfortable with.
Be true to yourself first, James.
Whatever happens and at the end of the day we answer to ourselves.
I think there is even an honesty in you talking about this! :) I think you are capable of doing whatever you wish to do.
The time management thing, in ,my personal life I let it all hang out, do whatever I want or feel like doing, when it only affects me...in the real world, business, appointments, committments etc I have trained myself to be punctual, out of respect for myself and for other people because they should not have to work around me and my attitude toward time constraints.
It can be done, and I actually get a sense of great pride doing it...in many years I have never been late for any appointment apart from when a kangaroo ran into me on the road.
I would be lying to say I don't lie, it would be very ocassional and would go along the theme of:
Person A: "How do I look in this?"
Me: "The color suits you but we may need to let the buttons out a bit, just to make sure you are more comfortable"..
Person A: "I'm too fat in this, aren't I?"
Me: "Noooo, it's not that, clothes are made so much smaller in sizes these days...we could go a size bigger and see what that looks like?"
I still struggle with this sort of stuff....but I have this expectation people try to be as truthful to me, it's not right to deceive...truth is important to me, kinda hand in hand with my integrity...
I am really so proud of my efforts and achievements and self training in areas that are ....um.....a little less desirable. LOL!
Isn't it a nice place here!
It is a nice part of cyberspace to hang out.
Welcome.
(I'm from Victoria, Australia btw)
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Re: conflict evasion
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 11:32 PMI don't think there are anything wrong with white lies and I think that everyone uses them. For me, its just another way that we are socialized to interact with people in a positive way and build relationships. It's not always conflict evasion, but rather conflict management or as my mom would say "choosing your battles". Iif you feel that you are undermining your integrity or making saying things that go against your beliefs that's probably not healthy.
When I'm having a discussion especially if its a sensitive environment (extended family, work, friends of friends) I will go out of my way to avoid outright argument, but theres also a line I won't cross if people are doing or saying something that I just think is wrong.
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Re: conflict evasion
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 11:29 AMI'm having the same "I'm home" feelings as you...I'm not alone in my quirkiness...(am I giving up some of my "uniqueness here"???) Anyway, I pretty much avoid conflict at all costs. Even my well being and happiness. And that's taking it too far. We can't let our personality tendencies rule how we live. They are just tendencies. It's really best to say what's so. I think everyone around me appreciates it when I say what's so. Without judgement, without meaning or emotion. Don't put so much heaviness around the truth. It's pretty refreshing so say what's there and take what you get.
