Tribe.net. Local Connections Corin http://infp.tribe.net/thread/b0d8558d-f287-40a6-861c-d6f16f4932cf#c92a8f43-4bcb-4af2-bb85-06bd36a3371b 2009-04-23T05:21:25Z 2009-04-23T05:21:25Z

I've been married to an INTJ for 13 years. I can say that the success of our marriage doesn't have much to do with our MBTI type. Here's why I think it's worked so well for me. 1. We have similar values and our top values don't conflict with each other. If one person's top value is their career and the other person's top value is family, that's a conflict because the career person will sacrifice family for career. Values change so every few years we sit down re-evaluate our values individually and then we share. It's a great conversation. 2. We have individual goals and us goals. I have my goals. She has her goals. We have goals as a couple. 3. We know our love languages. There's a book called the 5 Love Languages which basically posits there are 5 ways a person feels loved: acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation and gifts. Her top two that make her feel loved are different than my top two. I just make sure I'm speaking her language and she speaks mine. Hope that helps. And P.S. - Make sure the J handles the financial details of the household, you'll both be happier.

Corin 2009-04-23T05:21:25Z Ray http://infp.tribe.net/thread/b0d8558d-f287-40a6-861c-d6f16f4932cf#6a9553bb-cf49-4e70-a226-16295d152967 2009-04-22T06:13:37Z 2009-04-22T06:13:37Z

I'm certainly no relationship expert, but I'll put in my 2c worth. Assess why you may need to be reassured so much - times you've been burned, etc. Maybe you can breakdown some of the old patterns that tie you down. #2: Ask your guy to do something special, something personal, something (creative, if possible) that you can have/hold/etc everytime that you feel insecure. If he's put effort into it, you can look at it / hold it and realize that he loves you, and tha'ts the tangible proof Whatever he's good at. Woodwork, clay, painting, music, photography, collage; whatevrelsehaveyou.

Ray 2009-04-22T06:13:37Z Carolyn http://infp.tribe.net/thread/b0d8558d-f287-40a6-861c-d6f16f4932cf#63ee7f19-4823-4137-98f1-d9a56c781b5d 2009-04-22T03:40:09Z 2009-04-22T03:40:09Z

I was just wondering if anyone had any insights in INFP-INTJ relationships? I am madly in love with my boyfriend (who is an extreme INTJ) but he is kind of hard to deal with sometimes. I am definitely and introvert, but I don't see myself as an extreme NFP, I try to work towards practicality rather than idealist tendencies. He sometimes makes me feel inferior, but I don't think it is his fault. I am just rather emotionally sensitive and need constant reassurance, while he is self-confident (very academically/specific facts intelligent while I am more socially/general ideas intelligent) and he thinks his love should be evident without having to express it every second. (Typical INTJ) Our relationship is really interesting, we are very different people, but we are deeply committed and there is nothing that we cherish more than each other. It's almost like we are addicted to each other too. lol (Also, I dunno if it makes a difference, but we are currently in a long distance relationship) Any advice? Insights? Any one have similar relationship experience?

Carolyn 2009-04-22T03:40:09Z