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What do people think of two INFPs being romantically linked? Do you think this would be a good thing as you could hopefully deeply understand each other? Or is it just asking for trouble? Has anyone ever been in this situation? Thoughts...
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Re: Two INFPs together
Tue, April 22, 2008 - 1:52 AMSounds like such a great thing, doesn't it?
I can't really say that I've had any really extensive romantic experiences with other INFPs but I felt compelled to post anyway. For, I met someone about half of a year ago (whom I definitely believed to be an INFP) and I felt deeeeply connected with her very quickly. And though I dream about how wonderful something like that could be I think about how many other factors would be important to consider.
Going on personality typing, afterall, I think the Enneagram offers a bit of deep important insight which could also be greatly factored. MBTI is, afterall, only one template to use for the understanding of an incredibly complex structure: fate, on top of the human psych.
Also, maybe once an INFP finds what they need (or close to), an identity, they could perhaps benefit from someone a bit more anchored to the physical. Stuff like that.
I'm interested too to hear about other's experiences.
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Re: Two INFPs together
Tue, April 22, 2008 - 10:07 AMI think any personality can form a deep connection with any personality. However, in any good relationship there must be a strong understanding of one another. And the way you would go about forming an understanding of your partner would differ from personality to personality. The closer the personalities two people have, the easier it might be for them to quickly understand each other. More contrasting personalities might require more work to reach understanding, but can have the benefit of helping the individuals to expand their own ways of thinking.
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Re: Two INFPs together
Tue, April 22, 2008 - 11:45 AMI wish I had more experience. In theory, it sounds great to me. In practice, getting two people together who are hard to find and who might initially seem shy and non-sexual is not easy. The worst part is that many INFPs don't like themselves and probably will reject people for reminding them of their own "flaws." I could go on. Two INFPs together probably won't work unless at least one is well-adjusted. -
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Re: Two INFPs together
Wed, August 20, 2008 - 3:33 PMI wonder why you think INFPs are non-sexual? My experiences is INFP's are very sensual people. Maybe more sensual than sexual, but they go hand in hand. They also like to please their partner.
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Re: Two INFPs together
Tue, April 22, 2008 - 8:06 PM
I think 2 infps would make great friends, but not partners.
I've only had a 2-date fling with another INFP and although we got along well, and opened up to each other quickly, there was just something lacking (passion (from my side)? opposite-ness?) and needless to say, things didnt work out. -
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Re: Two INFPs together
Sat, February 7, 2009 - 12:58 AMI am having an interesting experience at this moment with another INFP.
I'm currently on hiatus with my ISFJ boyfriend of 2 years and I am trying to date other people. I started talking to a man a couple weeks ago who is an INFP. It's been a breath of fresh air compared to my partner in a lot of ways! We both have very similar interests, we interpret the world in the same way, we have the same tastes, ambitions, stregnths and weaknesses. The strange thing is, as refreshing as it's been to meet someone who understands me and validates my motivations, I don't feel particularly romantically attracted to him. We have had a couple of very interesting dates to events that I couldn't connect to my boyfriend with like a lecture and gallery opening for a painting exhibit and a play. But I just don't feel the warm chemistry I experienced with my boyfriend in the beginning.
I am thinking that 2 INFPs probably could do really well together, as this is what I thought I wanted when I felt unhappy with my boyfriend. But the feeling I am getting is that you need some difference, some "strangeness" between you to keep things going. I feel like I could be good friends with this guy, but not a lover necessarily. This new guy and I get each other but we don't really offer each other anything the other doesn't already have, except maybe expert assistance in self development. It's almost like if we need advice or support on how to be better INFPs, we've got it made, but no idea how to help each other with the world outside of that.
My old boyfriend annoyed me with his differences, especially his "S-ness," but he filled a lot of gaps in my life. This new man and I...well, I think we have the same gaps. We could definitely sympathize and understand each other's weaknesses, but we can't really solve anything for one another, I doubt. So maybe filling gaps is more important than complete mutual connection--you be the judge, though. It depends on what you want.
So I say very possible and enjoyabley so, but two INFPs have their disadvantages and may not work for everyone. -
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Re: Two INFPs together
Sun, February 8, 2009 - 10:05 AMSomething tells me that's a permanent hiatus. Going from one relationship right into another tends to poision two relationships. Yuck - I only mention that because you keep talking about it and also it probably contributes to the lack of chemistry you feel. How are you supposed to feel much chemistry when you still have much emotion invested in somebody else?
Using the illustration that it didn't do much good the last time, I think chemistry is overrated. If you're not actively turned off by someone's appearance or the act or idea of physical intimacy with him, no big deal. I've never had much chemistry with another person I believe to be INFP, but it's funny that you mention my idea of a date. Because it's unlikely to generate chemistry. Talking isn't usually exciting (unless you're someone who likes to argue). Exciting is, for example, rock climbing. I have plenty of time to ponder that before I get involved with anyone =/ Also, filling in gaps, what I'd call (movie reference) "completion," is not a reasonable expectation. My philosophy, which I think is INFP-friendly, is to go beyond expect and insist that a partner be someone who encourages pursuit of your goals you'd want to pursue whether he is in your life or not and usually is pleasant company emotionally, intellectually, and so on.
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Re: Two INFPs together
Thu, July 31, 2008 - 9:40 PMA mirroring relationship can be wonderfully enlightening.. many insights into the self to be had (was my experience in a brief relationship) But over time, I look for newness.. surprises.. something opposite to counter my Introversion. Not really asking for trouble, it could work.. for me it would not. -
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Unsu...
Re: Two INFPs together
Tue, August 19, 2008 - 7:08 PMIn life , relationships, anything is possible...
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Re: Two INFPs together
Wed, August 20, 2008 - 3:02 PMMy boyfriend of 4 months took the test yesterday and lo and behold we are both INFP's. We are both in our fifties and he has never married. I had been married for over 25 years and just separated a year ago. We are so much in love and we knew from the beginning that we had the same values and could complete each other's sentences. We are both very idealist and share many common interests. By the way, we both have Gemini rising, which makes us like variety and intellectual pursuits.. We keep each other stimulated! I say go for it! The connection may be a once in a lifetime connection. -
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Unsu...
Re: Two INFPs together
Wed, August 20, 2008 - 4:19 PMTheir ya' go....it's possible....good for you!
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Re: Two INFPs together
Sun, February 8, 2009 - 10:08 AMIn the unlikely case that you are reading this, any chance of an update? It could be very valuable information.
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Re: Two INFPs together
Wed, April 15, 2009 - 5:25 PMI recently married an INFP... We're both in our late 30s so we have our own interests and friend groups which get us out of ourselves, so the mirroring thing isn't a negative - probably wouldn't have been a healthy relationship if we were really young and unformed and relying intensely on each other for *everything*. My previous long term relationship was with an INTJ, and one of the early things that jumped out at me was the way that we lack the constant tension I felt in that relationship. We understand each other almost all the time and have very similar shared values and interests (though we do different things with our interests - almost like we started out with the same personality and developed in quite different directions). Probably two INFPs with different value systems would go completely mad!
It should go without saying that there's a really high level of soppiness and romance, too...
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Re: Two INFPs together
Sat, April 18, 2009 - 6:10 PMAs an INFP, (recently rechecked and still INFP) I have now been married for six years to another INFP, and she is my soul mate. Having been in a previous marriage of 20 years, with two wonderful children, I did not know what personal happiness was until my first marriage broke down due to lack of communication. I was introduced to the lass that I eventually married, by a mutual friend, and although we lived in different countries, the strength of the bond made all that melt away. Talk about mutual interests. I thought I was the musical type until my dear gal introduced me to so many different types of music that I had not taken time to listen to. My dear wife literally brought music into my life.
Love of art, appreciation of nature (someone else who actually loves to look at clouds) "come outside dear and see the sunlight on the hills" that sort of stuff. Man I am learning so much in my late 50s. Food, passion, poetry, yeah yeah. All there.
